8 Dark Realities About Being Single

Being single is so great, am I right? No Significant Other to whine about how you never take him/her out anywhere anymore. You save a whole lot of money on dinners and trips to the cinema. And don’t get me started on the in-laws that you would be forced to visit on holidays! Why can’t they just mind their own business? Anyway, while not feeling chained to somebody might feel liberating for a while, eventually you will discover that there are a lot of terrible things associated with not being in a committed relationship. Here’s a look at eight dark realities about singlehood, if you dare!

1.You Will Die Much, Much Earlier

It has been found that the key to a longer life is to be in a stable marriage. And a vape-free lifestyle. On the flipside, people who are single can expect to die very young. In fact, a recent Harvard University study found that the average life expectancy of a lonely individual who never finds love is only around 35, compared to 75 years for married couples! Pretty scary stuff, eh? Fortunately, I’m completely making this up. I’m just checking to see that you’re paying attention. Now let’s continue…

2. Shadow Puppets Are No Substitute For Real Love

One evening you turn off all the lights in the room except for a desk lamp. Whoa! It’s like a spotlight! You’re suddenly struck by a flash of inspiration and the result is a shadow puppet show. Using your hands, you are able to create all sorts of different images. Rabbits! Wolves! Goats! They are cute! They are entertaining! You can do this these shadow puppet shows for hours upon hours on end. But you quickly learn that they don’t compensate for a real relationship. Being single really sucks, guys. :(

3. You Find Yourself Wanting to Snack on the Bus Driver

You live in a big city and have opted to use public transport instead of driving a car to work. That’s quite commendable! If only you were as determined to find a mate as you are about saving the environment. Here’s the thing: the days go by and you’re still without a partner, the daily weekday commutes with a bus driver named Rusty behind the wheel will become the highlight of your romantic life. No ring on his finger either. You will yearn to stroke his greying mustache and polish his shiny, bald head. He’ll be a tad on the portly side, but what’s a few extra pounds in the scheme of things? You will snap out of this fantasy soon enough, but the fact that you even took the time to daydream about him shows just how far you will have sunk.