10 Foods That Are Guaranteed To Make You Happy

Looking for advice on what to eat to make you feel happier? According to science, eating things like blueberries, Greek yogurt, avocado, salmon and dark chocolate are key Among other things, it has to do with the essential amino acids and other things that the brain uses to produce serotonin and blah blah blah we’re done boring you with science. We at Brainberries felt it was best to look for the foods that will really make you feel happy, and we didn’t need to read any silly scientific journals to find the answers. Instead, we rely on good, old-fashion common sense to compile a list of 10 foods that are sure to make you feel great. Oh, and for this article we’re referring to calories as “happy points.” You’re welcome.

Chicago Deep Dish Pizza

You know how you fill a bathtub with a hot, steaming mountain of meat, cheese, and tomato sauce and call it dinner? That’s exactly what Chicago Deep Dish is, except the way they prepare it is far more sanitary than your methods. If you’re truly looking for bliss and don’t mind adding a few extra pounds, you simply can’t go wrong with this Chicago favorite. Keep in mind that it often takes around an hour for the restaurants to make, so remain patient and please don’t yell at the clock to move faster.

Happy points: 4000

Buzz Clucks with Mac & Cheese from Red Robin’s

What in the holy name of St. Christopher are Buzz Clucks? Huge, deep-fried chicken fingers, of course! But a hearty size of these guys won’t be a enough; you need to add a side of macaroni and cheese if you really want to reach your happiness goals. Don’t allow yourself to become overwhelmed with the wide choice of dipping sauces though. You don’t want to diminish your level of happiness, after all.

Happy points: 2,213

Fettuccine Alfredo from Cheesecake Factory

It would seem logical that if you’re going to a Cheesecake Factory, the purpose is to hunt for some cheesecake, right? But those in the know order themselves a bowl of fettuccine Alfredo when they’re in need of an emotionally uplifting experience. It starts with boiled pasta with a concoction of oil, butter, Parmesan cheese and cream poured onto it. If that doesn’t make you happy, you’re out of luck.

Happy points: 1820

An Entire Jar of Nutella

Nutella inexplicably advertises itself as a healthy product that “breakfast loves” because the hazelnuts contained within are hypothetically a healthy start to your day, but that’s only when they aren’t a mixed into a product that is primarily sugar and a gooey, chocolate-flavored substance. Mmm. Sweet, sweet sugar and goo. Have you ever tried spreading Oreo cookies onto bread? Give it a go and discover what true failure feels like. Alternatively, Nutella spreads more easily than peanut butter! So finish off the entire jar and feel like a winner again!

Happy points: 4000